"The Weight of Glory"

Dear Friends and Family,

It was recently suggested to me by a friend that I read a sermon by C.S. Lewis called the "Weight of Glory". (Google it by name and you will find a PDF version you can download.)

Some of you have probably read the article before, and many have likely heard quotes from it like this one:

". . . it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

In his sermon, Lewis explores more deeply this notion of our longings and how they connect to what God truly has in store for us "in Christ". He dispels the misconception that we, as Christians, should not desire reward from the Lord just because it seems, at first glance, to be mercenary or self-serving. In its truest sense, our deepest desire is to be noticed and approved by our Creator - the knower and lover of our souls. I really like Lewis' description of "being noticed by our Lord"; it reminds me of the gospel story we read our children in Sunday school about the little man named Zacchaeus climbing up in the tree to see Jesus. He was noticed by our Lord and called down and asked to dine with the Savior. (Luke 19:2) If we are honest, much our misguided earthly pursuits bely an underlying desire to be noticed and approved by our Lord just like this little man.

I have spoken with many friends recently about a deep motivation we should all have to hear "well done, good and faithful servant" from our Lord himself. (Matthew 25:23) I believe that the most important arc of our lives should lead us to that point, providing us a proper perspective on all the time-bound moments in between. We must remember that we will stand in Christ's presence only because his grace has smiled upon us through his inestimable sacrifice on our behalf, but we must also know that what we do with our lives in this realm really does matter to him.

Lewis also speaks of glory not only as being approved by ("being famous with") the Lord, but he also speaks of the notion that glory connotes light or luminescence. He captures our desires this way: "We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words,- to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it." It seems clear to me that this desire for union with light and beauty is being fulfilled by our union with Christ through his indwelling Spirit and the hope that we will one day be like him in our glorified bodies.

All this talk of longing, approval, beauty and light causes Lewis to consider a practical application that is worth appropriating in our lives today and each day.

"It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight , or burden of my neighbour's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only a nightmare."

We should pray then not only to hear "well done, good and faithful servant" for ourselves, but encourage and help others to lives their lives toward that same end, seeing and loving them today with a view from that Great Day before our Lord Jesus.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1,2)

In Christ alone,

Newt

Dear Friends and Family,

Here we are at a street side cafe' in Paris next to the Place des Vosges. Susan and I spent a week in Europe recently, punctuating what has been an eventful six months. It was good for us to have some time away and enjoy a break.

We spent a few days in beautiful Paris, exploring the arts, the history, the architecture and of course the food. As Susan would say, "It was glorious"! It was her first time to Paris and she said that she may have found her "home away from home".

We stayed in the Latin Quarter and enjoyed walking everywhere, to Notre Dame, the Louvre, Musee' D' Orsay, the Eifel, Champs Elysees, the theatre, and shopping on the Rue de' Rivoli. The weather was nice at 15 c and sunny.

We also went to see our son, Drew, who is studying in Scotland at the University of Edinburgh. Scotland was beautiful and full of fascinating history. We walked the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, saw Edinburgh Castle, visited Stirling Castle and the William Wallace Monument and, of course, played golf at St. Andrews, where the sun actually shined down on us for several holes. . . it was glorious!

We even took in a bit of reformation history as we visited the John Knox house and St. Giles church and studied the Scots Confession of 1560, Mary Queen of Scots and other larger-than-life figures of that era.

We hope to go back to Scotland and take the "high road to Loch Lomond" and other sites in the highlands.

Sola Christus,

Newt

Feeling Stronger Every Day

Dear Friends and Family,

It has been three weeks since I last updated my blog and nearly a month and a half since my last chemo therapy treatment. Today would have been the day of my eighth treatment if it had been required. Being cancer-free and putting some distance between me and my last treatment have allowed me to gain five pounds, start exercising seriously again, and even begin to grow my hair.

While I have not returned to 100%, I must be gaining at least one percent each day. I would like to think that I will be back to near normal in less than a month with no lingering side effects. Again, I am very grateful.

Several times over the past weeks, I have remembered the moment when Susan and I heard the initial diagnosis of pancreatic cancer from the head of surgery at IU Med Center. It is a moment frozen in time as I gazed over the edge of my earthly life. While I don't care to return to that place again in reality, I return there in my mind because it causes me to maintain perspective on what really matters in life. It is an aid in my heeding the the most repeated command in the Bible - "Fear not."

On that subject of "fear", I did upload a new picture of myself which turns out to be a bit scarier than I thought it would. Halloween is around the corner, and Woody Harrelson has a new movie about zombies. . . maybe there's room for an "extra".

It's good to be a live, even if I resemble a fuzzy ghost.

In Christ alone,

Newt

"For whoever would save his life will lose it . . ."

Dear Friends and Family,

I was paid the best compliment I have ever received in my life the other day. A learned individual looked at me and said, "There is nothing remarkable here." I never thought I would rejoice in hearing such words, but they were especially wonderful when they came from the expert radiologist reading my confirmatory CT scan. I spent a few  moments with my oncologist this afternoon reading the CT scan images myself, and it continues to appear that the solid tumors in my pancreas and chest area are completely gone. Hallelujah!

So now I am out of the treatment phase and into the recovery phase. Today would have been the day for my seventh treatment, would that have been deemed necessary. However, it is nice to be on the mend and gaining strength day by day. Again, I cannot thank you enough for your faithful prayers. I am as firmly convinced that God has heard and answered these prayers as I am of anything else in my life.

Back to Luke 9:23, 24 - "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

When considering what Jesus meant by the last two phrases, I am reminded of Jim Elliot's famous quote: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose." Indeed, Elliot, a missionary to a remote tribe in south/central America, gave his own life as he was murdered by the people he was trying to reach with the gospel of Jesus Christ over 50 years ago. (If you are interested in his story and the other missionaries involved, rent the movie "The End of the Spear"; it is quite compelling and appropriate for the entire family.)

I believe that Jesus is warning us with this last phrase that trying to hang on to the things of this world will only result in loss because the things of this world are temporary and don't ultimately meet our deepest needs. Jesus states these truths similarly in Matthew 6:19-21, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

If you invest yourself completely in gaining the things of this realm for yourself, you will come up short in the end. In other words, he who dies with the most toys, does NOT win. However, if Christ - and trusting in him and following his lead - are what you invest in, then you will not be disappointed. You will not only gain abundant life here on this earth, but you will gain the afterlife with him. Elliot's pithy thought makes sense. It may not be easy to live out, but it is certainly a proposition worth embracing. 

Ultimately, Jesus is asking each of us, "What do you treasure"? Do you value possessions, status, power, comfort and the praise of others more than you do me? Or, are you willing to lay up treasures in heaven, demonstrating that your heart is in the place it should be?  

Losing our lives for a worthy cause here on earth is compelling. Losing our lives for the One who saves us, restores us and provides us eternal security should be irresistible to those who have eyes to see and ears to hear. If you are reading these words, I pray that is the case for you.

May the irresistible, unmerited favor of Jesus rest upon you and draw you to himself, so that you may lay a hold of life that is truly life.

In Christ alone,

Newt

Step Three: Follow Me

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, it feels good to have the six treatments behind me now. While I am a bit tired this week due to the drugs' effects on my red/white blood cells, I am hopeful as I consider being able to build up my strength and not getting "whacked" again in a couple of weeks. Please pray the confirmatory CT scan again shows no cancer next Thursday.

My body seems to be adapting to the chemo drugs as my hair, beard, eyebrows, etc. are starting to grow back. Many have suggested that I keep the metro-bald look, although my wife is not sold on it, and her vote always counts for (all voters + 1) in these types of categories. In celebration of a few blooming hair follicles, I have changed my blog picture to one that was taken about six years ago. A few years back a Washington DC insider accused me of using my "first communion picture" when he saw this one. Imagine if he saw me now in my "ridden hard and put away sweaty" state! Ah well, all flesh is like the grass. . .

Let's continue with the exploration of Jesus' direction from Luke 9:23,24:

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

God has been impressing on me over the past several months a few ways that I need to follow Jesus. Most clearly, he has shown me that following my Lord means becoming more like him. A friend of mine was sharing with me some teaching he had heard on this subject recently. The instructor indicated that in the ancient middle east, a follower of a master/teacher/rabbi/prophet would want to follow so closely that they would get the teacher's "dust" on them. Imagine that, getting "dusted" by Jesus. The notion is obviously that you walked around with your master and observed what he/she did and how they did it. As with Socrates, it could have taken the form of rigorous question and answer sessions. Nonetheless, you spent much time with your master and patterned your life after him.

It seems that God has always had this "imitation of Christ" in store for us. Many believers have suggested that Romans Chapter 8 is one of the pinnacles in all of the Bible. An oft quoted verse is 28: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." We all like the notion that "all things work together for good", but how do we know what "his (God's) purpose" is? The next verse holds the clue: "For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son. . .".

As the apostle Paul clearly states in Romans 8:28,29, God's purpose in our lives is to conform us to his Son's image. It is in this context of being made more like Jesus day-by-day that we can be sure that all things (even suffering, pain, hardship, setbacks, loss) work together for good. We could explore this notion of God's sovereign purposes being accomplished even (and especially) through suffering in a later blog, because I do think we see the ultimate "good from suffering" in the cross of Christ.

When we consider following our Lord so closely that we are conformed to his image, some may object because it might cause a loss of individuality. I believe nothing could be further from the truth. When we become more like Christ, we are actually becoming who God fully intended us to be, with all of our uniqueness. The Bible clearly teaches that the Lord knows us individually (read Psalm 139 or Matthew 10:26-33) and his design for us is fulfill our special role in his eternal kingdom. God wants to make us more like his Son but to still allow for our special blend of talents, experiences, upbringing, temperament and personality to shine through. I find this principle well demonstrated in the Bible itself. Look at the unique characters we find on every page! Further, consider how God's word shines through in a timeless fashion, but does not diminish the individual authors' personalities or writing styles.

I am motivated by the idea that the Lord of the universe has a job with my name on it in his kingdom. It is a small role that only I can fill, but I need to "go to school" on his Son if I am to be properly equipped (from the inside-out) as his faithful servant.

Another area of following Christ that I am learning is to keep my eyes on him and not the road ahead. I often suffer from the "what's next" disease, maybe you do to. Or, some people suffer from the "what's behind" disease as they are constantly burdened, even haunted, by their past. When I lay in my bed during the first two weeks under the presumptive diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, "what's next" took on a whole new meaning. I saw how vain many of my thoughts and plans about the future were. I saw clearly that Christ was telling me to follow him, and live in the present moment, leaving my future to Him. I have come to believe that living outside of God's present moment is one of the devil's schemes to render us ineffective in our special kingdom jobs.

If the evil one, in and through circumstances or through our own sinful tendencies, can keep us burdened down and paralyzed by the past, or preoccupied with the illusion of controlling or shaping the future, then we become much less effective, even worthless, in the present moment where God wants to work in and through us for his good purposes. Please hear me - there is a time for reflecting on and learning from our past, certainly confessing our sins and dealing with problems in the past that keep popping up in the present. There is also a time for planning ahead and considering the paths we might take to fulfill God's purposes in our lives. HOWEVER, we can only truly live in the moment before us. By keeping our eyes on Christ, we leave the choice of the next path up to Him and his sovereign plan in our lives. By keeping our eyes on Christ, we keep our eyes out of the rearview mirror, not filling ourselves with regret and indecision about turns not taken along the way.

So, for me, following Jesus means becoming more like him each day, and living in "the now" where He is leading me, and there is a lot of joy in that journey. . .

In Christ alone,

Newt

Step Two: Take Up Your Cross Daily

Dear Friends and Family,

Today is the beginning of the end . . . of my "poison with a purpose". I go in for my last treatment at IU Medical Center trusting that it, along with the previous five treatments, has accomplished the intended purpose of eradicating the insurgent b-cells. From the CT scan after number four, it would seem that is the case. These last two have been necessary to kill any small cancer cells that still may be lurking around. 

For the past several weeks, I have been reflecting on Luke 9:23,24, where Jesus said:

". . . if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

What does Jesus mean by "take up his cross daily"?

As a matter of groundwork, let's be clear that the "cross" he is referring to is not the piece of 18 carat gold jewelry many Christians (and even some non-Christians) wear around their necks. The cross in Jesus' day would have been known to be one of the most cruel forms of Roman torture and execution, a hideous process of asphyxiation where the victim would become like a pathetic human yo-yo, pushing themselves up on their nailed or tied feet to create the possibility of taking a breath, only to collapse again due to exhaustion and exposure. This process could go on for hours before death's grip held them fast. From a number of gospel passages, including this one, it seems clear that Jesus knew the cross was to be his means of physical death.

Even so, Jesus was using this term, "cross", metaphorically. While the cross clearly represents suffering and death, it does not represent meaningless, purposeless suffering and death. In Jesus' case, he embraced suffering and death as a means of sacrifice (satisfying the penalty for our treason against, and turning our backs on, our Creator God) and as an act of service (showing his followers the way to gain their lives by losing it for his sake). 

If we are not called to literally die on a Roman execution stake, then how do we take up our crosses daily? 

As I explored in an earlier blog, we must be first willing to "deny ourselves" and the notion that our lives are about self-focus and the accumulation of wealth and possessions to satisfy our desire for control, power, comfort, etc.

We must be willing to see suffering as a chosen mechanism that God uses in our lives to get our attention and to conform us to the image of his Son (see Romans 8:28,29). I know my experience with cancer has opened my eyes to how much I attempt to avoid pain and suffering, but when faced with unavoidable trials like the one I am going through, God has met me in unimaginable ways. The closeness I have felt with my Savior during these past five months has been a blessing that has overwhelmed any sense of loss or pain that I have felt. Having so many friends and family pour out their love and prayers on my behalf has deepened my appreciation of the power of others in my life. Indeed, suffering has marked all the characters we read about in the Bible, not to mention the key periods of growth for the church throughout history.

God has called each of us in different ways to sacrifice for his sake and to serve others. For some it may be through intercessory prayer, for others it may be through financial giving, still others it could be through their time and talents. It could be in small ways that we relate to family members or friends, choosing not to put them in a box but being willing to see them in a new light, giving them the benefit of the doubt when it is in our power to do so. Some may be called to bear what seems to be the unbearable grief of the loss of a child, or a spouse or a parent. Others may be called to leave family, friends and familiar surroundings to go and serve Christ in a foreign land.

I believe Jesus' words in Luke 9:23,24 hold the key to living a powerful, Spirit-filled life as his follower. It is only by denying ourselves and embracing the suffering and pain through the "crosses" in our lives that we will truly experience the resurrection power that God promises us in his word (see Romans 8:11). 

Susan and I have had a wonderful picture of this truth as we have observed close friends of ours who suffered early in their marriage when one of them was stricken with cancer. Due to treatments, they were unable to have children of their own, but in the midst of their suffering heard Christ's calling in their lives. They have gone on to be a profound blessing in the lives of others with cancer, counselors to many hurting marriages, founders of inner-city ministries, adoptive parents, and leaders within the church. They can see in hindsight that cancer and trials early in their lives were gifts from God that produced much fruit that benefitted others.

These friends recently encouraged us to meditate for a "a few months" on the following words written by Jesus' half brother, James:

"Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Remember, James had a front row seat in watching his half-brother, Jesus, put these words into practice. Knowing that he left his eternal home in heaven to break into our earthly realm, become a man with the intention of giving his life a ransom for many, must have given James tangible evidence that the words he wrote were trustworthy.

In Christ alone,

Newt

mushi atsui, desu ne

Dear Friends and Family,

You can see a new picture on my blog with a new hat from our friends, Brad and Megumi Harker. Brad works for the US Consolate in Osaka, Japan, and we went to church with them while living there.

Brad's note to me started with "it is hot and sticky here. . ." as he described the weather in August in the Kansai region of Japan. "Mushi atsui" is the Japanese phrase for hot and sticky, or as we say here in Indiana: "the dog-days of summer".

We miss our friends in Japan and thank you all for your faithful prayers from around the world.

I am pushing through chemo-treatment number 5 as I look forward to the final treatment this month.

I can see the light that is coming at the end of this tunnel. . .

In Christ alone,

Newt