The Power of Expectations (2) "Of Self"

Dear Friends and Family,

I apologize for being delinquent in my postings. . . it has been a busy time getting back into the swing of things in this new year. I want to stay with the subject of "the power of expectations", focusing first on the expectations we have of our selves.

I am not going to turn to secular or academic sources initially, but wish to frame the discussion with two parables Jesus Christ told to his followers over 2000 years ago.

The first comes from the gospel of Luke, chapter 14:7-11. It is a parable of a wedding feast and sets an important boundary for us as we think about our own expectations. Here it is:

". . . When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, 'Give your place to this person,' and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, 'Friend, move up higher.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Jesus provides the main lesson at the end, so we don't need to strain to find it: "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Said in a few other ways: don't honor yourself; don't self-promote; think and act in a way that is rightly connected to your position; have realistic, fact-based expectations.

The second parable is found in both Luke and Matthew's gospels in slightly different forms. I will quote from Matthew's version since it is more familiar. It is found in chapter 25:14-30 and is referred to often as the Parable of the Talents. Here is a selection:

"For it (the kingdom of heaven) will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. . . Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more. His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master'. . . He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ' Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant!. . . You ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away."

Again, Jesus provides the principle at the end of the parable: "to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away". What can we derive from this parable in regard to expectations about self?

Here are a few interpretations that I believe are true to the text: be faithful with what has been given to you; recognize the "talents" you have been given and put them to good use; don't over-reach - deliver in a way commensurate with your resources; don't under-estimate what is expected of you or what you are capable of; don't "hide your talent".

As I think about establishing expectations for myself, I find these stories from Jesus provide some helpful boundaries. On one hand, we should not seek a place of honor or fame and should not be characterized by self-promotion. In other words, we should think rightly (humbly) about ourselves and our position.

On the other hand, we should be willing and ready to recognize what has been given to us when we are called on by the master to put our resources to use. We should rightly appraise our talents and resources, and be willing to act and deliver in a way commensurate with those skills and gifts.

In contrast to what much of modern culture teaches and holds up as the norm when dealing with expectations of self, Jesus seems to be teaching that we should be people who don't seek to be exalted, or to be promoting oneself to an ever-higher position. At the same time, we should be people who rightly appraise the talents and the resources we have been given and to put them to good use for our master.

So, a few questions for reflection: Are you and I characterized by taking a lower position and not seeking the place of honor? Are you and I known for being "faithful over a little"?

If the answer to both is "yes", then Jesus suggests we will be recognized, rewarded by being "set over much", and then "enter into the joy of our master." Just for contrast, I suggest you read the entire parables, because the alternatives are not so attractive. Then again, Jesus was never accused of mincing words. . .

In Christ alone,

Newt

The Power of Expectations

Dear Friends and Family,

Happy New Year and New Decade! Many of you may be glad to turn the page on 2009. I know last year will be one that I will not soon forget. The impact of last year on me and my family will certainly endure for many years to come.

For some time I have been wanting to begin a series of posts on the "power of expectations". A number of experiences I have had over the past several years have caused me to think about the impact expectations have had on my own life and in the lives of others. Expectations impact so many areas of our daily lives:

-professional success or failure
-parenting/childhood development
-medicine and health
-performance in sports
-marriage and relationships
-faith and prayer
-stock market performance/economic indicators
-etc.

Consider how expectations impact our views of ourselves, others, our circumstances, our past and our future. Our level of contentment is directly related to our expectations. On that note I am reminded of a simple equation that a mentor of mine in business once showed me:

S = P - E

or, Satisfaction = Performance - Expectations

You could easily substitute "Reality" for "Performance". In other words, our expectations, when compared against our reality- our circumstances - our performance, determines to a great extent whether we are satisfied or dissatisfied, content or discontent.

So, should we have high expectations and risk being disappointed? Or, should we set low expectations and attempt to ensure a sense of satisfaction? Maybe we should have different perspectives depending upon whether we are talking about your task list for home improvement on a Saturday verses your business forecast for the year, or your child's academic performance, or your expectations of healing from a terminal disease, or whether your favorite professional sports team will win this weekend.

What about our expectations of people who are different than us? There has been much talk recently in the U.S. about profiling certain individuals at airport security because of the Christmas Day bomb attempt on the flight from Amsterdam to Detroit. Should a person's race or ethnicity or religion impact our expectations? If so, how far should we take such expectations?

How about the poverty cycle? What impact do expectations have on those who feel trapped by their economic circumstances? What impact do certain types of governmental programs have on poor peoples' expectations of breaking that cycle?

Many of us have heard of the Pygmalion Effect that was popularized by the classic movie "My Fair Lady" or more recently "Trading Places", where the power of high or low expectations significantly impacts a person's performance and progress. How far should we go in applying this powerful principle in human behavior?

How about marriage? (This is a touchy one.) How do our expectations of our spouse impact our attitudes on a daily basis? What is the impact over time of fulfilled or unfulfilled expectations on this most intimate of relationships? How can changing our expectations assist in breaking a bad cycle?

How about the expectation of economic and technological progress that has been with us since the Age of Enlightenment in the 1700's? How has this promise of progress been fulfilled, or not? How has its lack of fulfillment led to attitudes of despair and indifference?

My working hypothesis is, expectations:

-have an over-sized impact on our daily lives.
-can be dangerous when they are too far from reality.
-are largely within our control.

I look forward to exploring some of these questions . . .

In Christ alone,

Newt


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Christmas Post from Susan

"In Christ alone, who took on flesh, fullness of God in helpless babe. This gift of love and righteousness…"

Merry Christmas!

We are so grateful to be celebrating Christmas this year with health and wholeness, and after the events of 2009, we have a deeper understanding of and appreciation for the gifts of health and life.

Our children are doing well and this year is one of firsts for all of them. Luke started high school and driving this year. Drew spent a semester abroad at the University of Edinburgh studying chemical engineering, playing basketball for the university, and traveling in Europe on long weekends. Newt and I visited him for a week together in Paris and Scotland. Zach is a senior this year and applying and receiving acceptances to attend college. He wants to study broadcast journalism/communications. Jensen started middle school this year as a fifth grader and began competing in equestrian and jumping events this summer. She will be baptized this Sunday.

Eight months after Newt was first misdiagnosed with pancreatic cancer and four months after his last chemo treatment and more prayers for us than we know, Newt’s lymphoma is gone and his chest and pancreas are clear. This month his doctor has officially pronounced him in remission and Lord willing, the lymphoma will not return. As you can imagine, we are overflowing with thankfulness for God’s mercy and deliverance.

In the months since Newt has had cancer, we have heard and experienced other stories of God’s hand of mercy, deliverance, and rescue. The Bible is replete with them as well and none so compelling as the Christ-mas story of God coming to earth wrapped in flesh. God sent us His Son so that in His mercy each of us could be rescued from death as we trust Him to be our Savior. This is the ultimate story of hope and healing and salvation and the reality that is a certainty for all eternity. It is for this deliverance, this rescue, that we praise God most. Our joy in Newt’s physical healing is great, but our joy in God’s gift of salvation is immeasurable!

We pray that you too find joy in the good gifts that God has given this Christmas and in those He has for you in 2010. May your hope, like ours, be in Christ alone.

With much love to you all~

Newt, Susan, Drew, Zach, Luke and Jensen Crenshaw

Latest Health Upate

Dear Friends and Family,

About two weeks ago I had a PET scan which was scheduled three months after my last treatment in late August. The results were completely clear, continuing to reveal that the cancer remains gone.

My oncologist indicated during a visit the following week that I was officially "in remission".

This was the news we have all been praying for, and I want to thank you for your continued prayers on my behalf. I certainly have felt God's hand upon me during the past weeks and months and am confident that he has healed me. The process of recovery happens one step at a time, and this latest step of a clean PET scan three months post treatment is an important one.

It has taken me a few days to process this last bit of news. I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude and peace that comes from knowing I am in good Hands. As I approach the Christmas holidays, I am reflecting in a new way on the meaning of the incarnation, that God became man in the form of a baby. I am also reflecting on how God wants to use this experience of cancer in my life. Please pray for eyes to see, ears to hear and the courage to follow. I am confident that God does not waste these experiences on his children.

I hope and pray your holidays are blessed, and that you are moved to be a blessing in others' lives, as you have been to me through your prayers and kind thoughts.

In Christ alone,

Newt

. . . all this talk of PEACE

Dear Friends and Family,

Recently in the media, we have been served up an interesting discussion about peace: President Obama's acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize, the continued wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the military's plan for victory and withdrawal, speculation about the next steps in the war on terrorism, strife and tribal warfare in Africa, and of course early talk of Christmas peace, or mostly the lack thereof due to busy schedules, joblessness, and poor consumer spending.

All this talk of peace seems to be hardwired into the human condition because of the constant presence of war and strife. I just finished an informative biography of Sir Winston Churchill by Roy Jenkins where he chronicled Churchill's decisive role in WWII as the wartime Prime Minister of Great Britain. One his most telling observations was the birth of the next war (i.e. the cold war) which came even before the Allied Powers were declaring victory and bringing peace in their current struggle with Nazi Germany and the Axis Powers. Churchill rightly saw this next bipolar struggle coming which would dominate the latter half of the 20th century.

Peace was a big theme at the first Christmas, and also before Jesus' death. Luke indicates it was part of the angel's chorus to the lowly shepherds - "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased" (Luke 2:14) . Some thirty-three years later, peace was the topic of discussion between Jesus and his inner-circle of followers - "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." (John 14:27)

This desire for peace clearly has more than one aspect to it. On a grand human scale it is the elusive pursuit of the absence of war. On an interpersonal level it is the absence of strife and conflict in our relationships. On a spiritual level, the angels indicated it had something to do with God being pleased with us. Jesus also seemed to indicate that peace was other-worldly and a gift from Him, bringing calm, not fear, to our souls.

To me, these various aspects of peace seem to be deeply connected. Just as the scientific and philosophic rule called Occam's Razor, when applied to medicine, calls for the simplest diagnosis and assumes that various symptoms of disease may somehow be connected, so too we should assume our lack of peace, our dis-ease if you will, has a common root cause.

While it may be tempting to focus our treatment on political solutions between nations - and we should - or psychological strategies for interpersonal harmony - and we should - those solutions and strategies would likely only be temporary "pain killers" or "band-aids" treating the symptoms, not the cause.

No, our dis-ease and lack of peace requires more basic and targeted medicine, because the root cause is imbedded in our human genetic make-up. We have faulty hearts. They are faulty not in the physical sense of muscle contractions, electrical impulses or valve operation, but in the sense of our deepest life-directing impulses, motivations and affections.

We need more than a list of rules, more than a contrived state of detachment from our physical existence, more than an evolutionary prescription for overcoming our self-focused survival -of-the-fittest instincts, more than psycho-analysis to reconcile our id and superego, more than a new Porsche at 1.9% interest rate or a new iPod Nano or the latest in designer clothes. We need more than weekly counseling sessions or self-help recommendations from Oprah or Dr. Phil. We need more than a Nobel Peace Prize, a new majority in congress, or a peace accord with the Taliban and a solution to the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, or even Osama Bin Laden brought to justice.

(I must admit all those things would be nice - especially the Porsche and Bin Laden - but they would still fall woefully short.)

We need new hearts. We need a heart surgeon of the other-worldly kind. Maybe He's the One the angels were singing about all those years ago. Maybe that's what Jesus meant when he said:

"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house there are many rooms. . . And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of Truth. . . He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you." John 14:1,2,16,17,26.

Maybe that's what all the Christmas celebration is supposed to be about.

The prophet Isaiah had it right several hundred years before the angels sang it out:

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of PEACE. Of the increase of his government and of PEACE there will be no end. . ." Isaiah 9:6,7

May that "increase" start in our hearts this season and re-make and re-direct our impulses, motivations and affections, bringing us peace with God and our fellow man.

In Christ (the other-worldly heart surgeon) alone,

Newt

The Mathematics of Thankfulness

Dear Friends and Family,

I trust that many of you in the US (and abroad) were able to celebrate Thanksgiving this past week with family and friends. Close friends of ours who are non-US citizens, but have lived in the states, told us recently that Thanksgiving was their "favorite adopted holiday" because of its focus on an attitude of thankfulness and on family. It is without a doubt my favorite holiday of the year for those reasons as well as for the crisp autumn days that accompany it here in central Indiana.

Reflecting on my own battle with cancer this past year, and also through discussions with others, I wanted to share a brief reflection on how we can be thankful even in the midst of difficult times. I will attempt to express these principles of thankfulness in mathematical terms, since mathematics often describes the relationship of one variable to another. I believe that an attitude of thankfulness has much more to do with our relationships - to God, to others, to our possessions - than it does with our particular circumstances. Here goes. . .

1. f (God) = man

An attitude of thankfulness begins with an understanding that man is created by God, or that we are a function of God, as in the basic expression, f(x) = mx + b. Our existence is derived from Him, and humankind is created by Him as an overflow of his love, not based on something lacking in His Being. "Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." Genesis 2:7

The Psalmist provides another intimate and detailed glimpse into our relationship with the Creator God:

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth." Psalm 139:13-15.

In difficult times, remembering that we have been lovingly created by a personal God who knows us well will become the foundation of our thankful attitudes. To state the obvious, "thankfulness" requires a person or object to whom thanks is due, and that should first and foremost be the Lord God.

2. self "<" others

The second key to thankfulness in difficult times is to take our eyes off of ourselves and place them onto others. As in the simple inequality expressed above, one way to do this is to place ourselves below others. This attitude runs counter to the dog-eat-dog, survival of the fittest dogma espoused in the market economy or through the evolutionary struggle taught in our classrooms.

In one of the most beautiful expressions of humility and servanthood in all of scripture, the Apostle Paul describes how we should imitate Jesus Christ's example in Philippians 2:3-11:

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

3. Wants = Current x State

Someone once said that the key to contentment is to want what you have. How much of our time is wasted chasing after things that will not satisfy our deepest needs? If we are honest with ourselves, especially here in America, we have deep predisposition for the gods of "more" and "next". We are bombarded with daily messages that tell us happiness is somehow bound up in getting more or moving on to what is next. Simply not true.

Many people in this country and around the world are going through difficult economic circumstances as a result of the recent financial crisis and persistent joblessness. Others are suffering from chronic, incurable or even terminal diseases that are shaking them to their core. While we cannot deny the difficulty of these circumstances, we do not have to allow them to rule our lives and steal away a heart of thankfulness.

Again, the Apostle Paul provides insight as one who suffered greatly during his life:

". . . for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound, in any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need . I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

I must admit, it is far easier to have an ungrateful heart issuing from a view that we are on our own and that this existence is all there is, so get as much as you can for yourself and pay no attention to what happens to others in the process.

Let's make a choice to do a 180 degree turn from that attitude and remember that we have been made by a loving Creator, and redeemed by his Son to a life that can put others first and also find contentment and thankfulness in all of life's circumstances.

In Christ alone,

Newt

"The Weight of Glory"

Dear Friends and Family,

It was recently suggested to me by a friend that I read a sermon by C.S. Lewis called the "Weight of Glory". (Google it by name and you will find a PDF version you can download.)

Some of you have probably read the article before, and many have likely heard quotes from it like this one:

". . . it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

In his sermon, Lewis explores more deeply this notion of our longings and how they connect to what God truly has in store for us "in Christ". He dispels the misconception that we, as Christians, should not desire reward from the Lord just because it seems, at first glance, to be mercenary or self-serving. In its truest sense, our deepest desire is to be noticed and approved by our Creator - the knower and lover of our souls. I really like Lewis' description of "being noticed by our Lord"; it reminds me of the gospel story we read our children in Sunday school about the little man named Zacchaeus climbing up in the tree to see Jesus. He was noticed by our Lord and called down and asked to dine with the Savior. (Luke 19:2) If we are honest, much our misguided earthly pursuits bely an underlying desire to be noticed and approved by our Lord just like this little man.

I have spoken with many friends recently about a deep motivation we should all have to hear "well done, good and faithful servant" from our Lord himself. (Matthew 25:23) I believe that the most important arc of our lives should lead us to that point, providing us a proper perspective on all the time-bound moments in between. We must remember that we will stand in Christ's presence only because his grace has smiled upon us through his inestimable sacrifice on our behalf, but we must also know that what we do with our lives in this realm really does matter to him.

Lewis also speaks of glory not only as being approved by ("being famous with") the Lord, but he also speaks of the notion that glory connotes light or luminescence. He captures our desires this way: "We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words,- to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it." It seems clear to me that this desire for union with light and beauty is being fulfilled by our union with Christ through his indwelling Spirit and the hope that we will one day be like him in our glorified bodies.

All this talk of longing, approval, beauty and light causes Lewis to consider a practical application that is worth appropriating in our lives today and each day.

"It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight , or burden of my neighbour's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only a nightmare."

We should pray then not only to hear "well done, good and faithful servant" for ourselves, but encourage and help others to lives their lives toward that same end, seeing and loving them today with a view from that Great Day before our Lord Jesus.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1,2)

In Christ alone,

Newt